today, the fast went well <3 no food crossed my lips. entirely too much coffee? yes. but no food. (:
went for a two-mile walk, felt amazing. (: thinking about going for an after-dark jog, undecided about that just yet. (: but i'm feeling good today <3


day five: why do you really want to lose this weight? are you doing it for you?
hmm... i'm mostly doing it for me. mostly. i'm a work-in-progress on the whole 'loving yourself' thing... somehow, i always feel that would be easier if i was skinny.
everything wrong in my life, i somehow bring back to my weight. examples, "if you weren't so fat, he'd still be with you." "if you weren't so fat, she'd be your friend." "if you weren't so fat, you'd be smarter." just ridiculous stuff that doesn't make sense sometimes. i guess i feel like if i lose weight, my life will be so much better, which is another reason i really want to lose it.
and another, i guess, is to make people proud of me. to show them exactly what i'm capable of. i'm capable of being beautiful. i'm capable of being strong-willed and single-minded. i'm determined. i'm strong. <3