since friday, i've been here-there-everywhere. reconnected with my old best friend (we'll call her b, can't recall if i've mentioned her before) and my other old best friend, who is also an ex-boyfriend, j. my routine has consisted of: wake up around 2-3 in the afternoon, wait for my mom to get home from work, take the car to b's apartment, stay there surrounded by people i've quickly come to know and love until 4-4:30 am, drive back home so my mom can use the car to get to work, repeat.
wednesday will be great, because my mom is getting her car out of the shop, so if i just want to crash at b's place, i'll be able to. (: b, j, and i have had so many adventures in the past few days, it's insane. we're all closer than we ever were before, and i love it. they're pretty much my best friends on this planet right now. <3
as far as eating.... it's totally not been a priority. some days i don't eat at all until i come home in the morning, and then i'll eat something like a cheese stick (50) or something similar. i haven't weighed myself either... just hasn't been high on my mind, i've been running around so much. (: i feel like i might have lost some weight, though, so i do need to go check on that!!! life is just amazing... and the fact that p dumped me.... doesn't seem to hurt as bad anymore. yes, it still hurts, but since i have the two best friends in the world by my side, they keep me happy and sane. (:
i guess i'm going to go ahead and do the reflections i missed while i've been running around haha. (:
day eight: your workout routine
i had one, but i stopped sticking to it... mainly now, my entire routine is based pretty much on just not eating, or eating the bare minimum. eventually i'll get back to working out, i imagine, but right now life is too crazy, and i'm too busy holding on tight. (:
day nine: did anybody ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?
my mom--constantly. just the subtle digs and stuff, you know what i mean? i'm not really aware of anybody else that did, since she was the main offender. but that's okay, because soon i will be skinny and she won't be able to say a damn thing <3
day ten: what was the hardest thing you gave up during this 'weight loss'?
eating in peace. now whenever i eat /anything/ there's a voice in my head constantly whispering "cut your portion down even more.... don't eat all of that! how many calories are in this? how are you going to make up for eating that? just imagine how you look--sitting here eating! you look so weak, like you rely on food, like everybody else... didn't you want to be skinny and beautiful? this isn't the way to get there!!!! STOP YOU FAT BITCH!" and also, whenever i eat, i imagine it all goes straight to my fat deposits and sticks there and never moves--even if it's something like three baby carrots, i still imagine i've gained a pound from it, and can literally feel my stomach growing and getting fatter. :\
sounds like you have a great set of friends! :) as for the boy... screw him, they're all stupid anyway ;)
ReplyDeletehey, thanks for following my blog :)
ReplyDeletejust wanted to stop by,I really like your blog, it's beautiful <3
*hugs*
Lulani
Your friends sound cool.
ReplyDeleteMy mom makes remarks constantly, it's a well established fact that if you argue with my mom about anything really, she will bring up weight. She was an anorexic so food is unnecessary for her. But yes, one day I will be skinny and she won't say anything.