since starting college my life has become quite one-sided. on the days i don't have school, i spend most of the day studying, and the time that isn't spent studying is spent planning out my next study session, or thinking i'm lazy and will fail because i don't have a book in my hand at that very moment.
needless to say, this is a very stressful way to live. and so i've started more carefully plotting out my study times--though things will get easier once i get the research paper i'm writing for my history class turned in. it is due october 19, and i have to first get through two different books on my subject (susan b. anthony), and then write the paper and get the sources straight. argh. i seriously hate research papers. i also have a /major/ project coming up in my psych class, but it's going to be fairly easy. i have to propose a hypothesis and design an experiment around it... it'll be easy, because i don't have to actually carry out the experiment, just make a design for an experiment. once i have my hypothesis designed, i'll be golden.
i have two hypotheses i'm trying to decide between. the first is something along the lines of 'students who study throughout the week before an exam make better grades on the exam than students who cram at the last minute,' the second is 'students who get eight hours of sleep the night before a major test will make better grades on the test than students who slept little or not at all.' i'll probably wind up going with the second, but i need to have a meeting with my professor to get his input. luckily, the project is not due until the end of november, so i have time, but i'd rather get it done and out of the way, as it is mandatory to get a grade in the class. no turn in = grade of 'incomplete'. argh, stress.
anyway, as i was saying before, this one-sided piece of me is nothing new--when i have something to focus on (i.e. school; diet; exercise; and for a time, wedding planning) everything else tends to take a backseat. i have a very all-or-nothing personality haha. but since life itself is not all-or-nothing, i need to balance myself out. and so, starting tomorrow, i have regularly scheduled exercise planned into my week. i really need to get out more, but it seems my local friends and i are at two different places in our goal-plotting right now, and our schedules don't mesh. ah, well. i don't really mind, actually. i've become a bit of a loner in recent weeks, so i'm suited fine right now.
about diet: need to get one together. exercise will be a step in the right direction for me, but time is constantly ticking down for my upcoming trip to california (i think i mentioned that in my last blog entry, please correct me if i'm wrong!), but anyway. i haven't been eating much lately, mostly because there's not a lot of food in the house, due to my mom being tight on cash from trying to get me to school--she had to pay out more than she usually would, due to some paperwork fuck-up for my financial aid. but anyway, it's good that i haven't been able to eat a lot.
i've rambled on long enough, though, and i really need to hit the shower and get to bed--gasp, i'll actually be getting to sleep at a decent time tonight!! raging insomnia lately, it sucks BALLS. so hopefully i'll actually sleep instead of counting sheep. hooray.
strength, grace, beauty--you're all beautiful, so stay strong and come through with grace <3
<3,
sparrow
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