beautiful

to begin, the greatest thanks to ahava אהבה , sophie, and cass for your comments on my last post. thank you all for caring, and your words really do mean so much to me. you're all beautiful—inside and out, and i truly mean that. thank you again—your comments really do mean the world to me, and thank you for your words of support. <3 lots of love sent y'all's way.

as for eating... i've been fairly good, i suppose. i haven't been keeping track of what i've been eating as i should be... i really need to. really badly. but today's been fairly good. had a packet of ramen – 350 cal—and that's all today. i fucking hate ramen. it's too delicious to be allowed, and way too high calorie to be sooooo darn good. but that's the only thing i've eaten so far today, and i plan on keeping it that way.

i need to get an exercise program pulled together. i used to be really good about exercising, but i've kind of fallen off the wagon in the past several months. just seems like i haven't had time, but that's going to change.... if you love me, please comment and tell me what kind of exercise program you do. (: i like getting ideas from other people. my mind is so boring when it comes to exercise haha. if you can, tell me stuff i could try that doesn't involve going to a gym—not only do i not have money for a membership, but i also hate gyms. i always seem to find the ones with lots of pretty, pretty girls and muscular guys, and that just makes me not want to drag my fat self up there. ): you'd think it'd be good thinspo, but nooo. just makes me more self-conscious and less likely to go. i'm weird like that.

today is also my first day to quit smoking. it's just gotten far too expensive for me, plus i'm quitting on p's request, also. (: he's good for me, y'all. really good for me. he makes me want to be the best me i can be, and he doesn't try to change what makes me /me/. he just inspires me to be beautiful and do great things. i love him so much <3 so i'm wearing the patch, and it itches like a bitch, but i don't seem to be having an allergic reaction. my mom says it's normal for it to itch a bit, so meh. i'll deal with it, if only for p's sake. (: i just don't see the attraction to cigs anymore, anyway. just. eh. ((:

i haven't weighed myself lately, and i really should, but i'm not going to step on the scales for another week, after i start my exercise program and logging what i eat. we'll just see how it goes. but i'm still determined that p will see me at my lowest weight. <3 i cannot /wait/ to see his face again. <3 absolutely cannot wait. <3

i guess i'm going to take some pictures tonight to begin a before/after slideshow. every 10-15 lbs, i'll take new pics, and i guess every 20 lbs or so, i'll do a before/after comparison. (: and after i hit my ugw, i'll put them all together. :D and then likely get into the process of setting a new ugw. (: that's just how i roll.

anyway, i've rambled on far too long. i love you all. stay gorgeous.

strengthgracebeauty <3

<3,

sparrow