lighter than. . . .: introduction

Thursday, February 24, 2011

introduction

i'm nothing special. believe me, i already know this for a fact.

i've had my share of failures, but i've also had just a touch of success. it is this success that keeps me going, even when i wonder what the use is anymore.

i'm just an average girl who lives in a tiny town, who is nothing special, even in this small pond.
i do not stand out from a crowd. if you saw me, you would not do a double-take. you would just pass me by and i would not even register on your radar.

i am drowning in my insecurities and my averageness. this is my attempt to break free of the prison of my mind. it is mind over matter in this endeavor. i'm not backing down. this is my journey, this is my time to shine.

i'm just a girl.

this is just my story.

2 comments:

UnknownThursday, February 24, 2011 at 1:04:00 PM CST
I wish you all the best :) xxx
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AnonymousFriday, February 25, 2011 at 5:59:00 AM CST
I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. Hugs <33
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people i mention in this blog

b - she's my best friend. we've had several falling-outs, but somehow we always wind up best friends again. she's the crazy one--the one who inspires me to do things a quiet, kind of shy girl like me would never think to do. sometimes i love her for it, sometimes i want to kill her for it, but she's always my best friend. (:

j - he's another one of my best friends. last year, after several months of friendship, we started going out... it didn't end so well, and we wound up not speaking to each other from mid-january until the end of september. however, since we've reconnected, he's quickly become one of my best friends on earth. <3

s - she's one of my other friends... she used to be my best friend, but we've kind of grown apart in recent months. she's always been my voice of reason--the one who tries to /keep/ me from doing insane shit. i love her for the advice she can give, but she tries to keep me in my little quiet-girl shell sometimes. this is why she's 'friend' and b is 'best friend'.

p - the guy i've known nearly as long as i can remember. we've been best friends since i was 12 years old. we tried to date recently, and he crushed my heart... but i still try to be his friend, because he's one of my motivational speakers. (:

c - my ex-fiancé. not much to say here except i thought i loved him, and so completely blinded myself to everything else in life. he was slowly becoming emotionally and verbally abusive, and things nearly turned physically abusive one night, when he pinned my arm down on the kitchen counter, waved a butcher knife in my face and threatened to cut my arm off. he alienated me from all my friends and from my family, and yet i didn't see the light until i finally broke up with him in early september. when he was out of my life, it was like i had woken up for the first time--it was beautiful, in a way. and no, i don't miss him. there's more details i could go into on this one, but i'll save that for a 'memories' blog post someday. (: